Mother hates me.


“You did what?” Mother looked like she was going to cry.  Mother always looks like she’s going to cry when she sees me.  She hates me.

“I bought watermelons,” I answered.  What does she want me to do?  Lie to her?

I explained like this.  This is how the thing always goes.  She asks me for the truth, I tell her, then she looks like she’s going to cry.

So it is memorial day, isn’t it?  I always look for something new because I consider myself an innovator.  That’s right.  I set the trend, I don’t follow it.

So me and my friend Penny were driving on the highway, looking to buy some flowers.  I saw a great display across a huge parking lot at a grocery.  Turns out they were not flowers, but watermelons.  So I bought five of them and placed one on each grave:  Grandpa, Grandma, Aunt Ruth Carol, Aunt Corinne, and Aunt Carol Catherine.

Anyway, I always liked the name “Kathleen” better than “Catherine.”


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