“You did what?” Mother looked like she was going to cry. Mother always looks like she’s going to cry when she sees me. She hates me.
“I bought watermelons,” I answered. What does she want me to do? Lie to her?
I explained like this. This is how the thing always goes. She asks me for the truth, I tell her, then she looks like she’s going to cry.
So it is memorial day, isn’t it? I always look for something new because I consider myself an innovator. That’s right. I set the trend, I don’t follow it.
So me and my friend Penny were driving on the highway, looking to buy some flowers. I saw a great display across a huge parking lot at a grocery. Turns out they were not flowers, but watermelons. So I bought five of them and placed one on each grave: Grandpa, Grandma, Aunt Ruth Carol, Aunt Corinne, and Aunt Carol Catherine.
Anyway, I always liked the name “Kathleen” better than “Catherine.”