Mother hates me.

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“You did what?” Mother looked like she was going to cry.  Mother always looks like she’s going to cry when she sees me.  She hates me.

“I bought watermelons,” I answered.  What does she want me to do?  Lie to her?

I explained like this.  This is how the thing always goes.  She asks me for the truth, I tell her, then she looks like she’s going to cry.

So it is memorial day, isn’t it?  I always look for something new because I consider myself an innovator.  That’s right.  I set the trend, I don’t follow it.

So me and my friend Penny were driving on the highway, looking to buy some flowers.  I saw a great display across a huge parking lot at a grocery.  Turns out they were not flowers, but watermelons.  So I bought five of them and placed one on each grave:  Grandpa, Grandma, Aunt Ruth Carol, Aunt Corinne, and Aunt Carol Catherine.

Anyway, I always liked the name “Kathleen” better than “Catherine.”

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